Alright, Rachel and I wanted to know what it’s like to live on a boat. Europe has 20,000 miles of navigable inland waterways, so we rented a canal boat to check out the Alsace region of France, near the border with Germany. We took a train and spent a few days in Strasbourg and Saverne, waiting for our boat rental, and discovered that we really enjoy this region as combining the best parts of French and German culture. While German sausages and potatoes are always on the menu, French cuisine is featured as well, saving us from a Munich situation last year in which potatoes protruded from our ears after…

Rachel and I fled the summer crowds of Scotland to relax in a small Dutch city an hour east of Amsterdam. After learning that I was let go from my job and she was leaving hers, we needed some time to regroup and figure out what we want to do when we – uh – grow up. We had come across the Dutch-American Friendship Treaty (DAFT), which would give us two-year visas to stay the Netherlands – a welcome respite from our current situation of moving countries to dodge tourist visa expirations every few months. The Netherlands is clean, efficient, well-run, pleasant, and…not for us. I would never be so…

I’m gonna dump a crapload of Scottish photos on you are you ready ok let’s get started. After a few days in hectic Edinburgh, Rachel and I and her parents moved south to the Lochhouse Tower, built in the mid-16th-century – tower houses were commonly used in the Middle Ages as residences for aristocrats – and recently restored as a short-term rental, complete with suits of armor, faux weapons, a small pond, and a hot tub. This guy scared the shit out of me every time I used the spiral staircase; I always forgot he was hiding in a recession in the wall. It reminded me of when Rachel used…