Chapter 27: Highlands and Islands

I’m gonna dump a crapload of Scottish photos on you are you ready ok let’s get started.

After a few days in hectic Edinburgh, Rachel and I and her parents moved south to the Lochhouse Tower, built in the mid-16th-century – tower houses were commonly used in the Middle Ages as residences for aristocrats – and recently restored as a short-term rental, complete with suits of armor, faux weapons, a small pond, and a hot tub.

This guy scared the shit out of me every time I used the spiral staircase; I always forgot he was hiding in a recession in the wall. It reminded me of when Rachel used to have sewing mannequins scattered randomly throughout our small rental house in Georgia, and I would catch a glimpse of their figure at night when I got up to use the bathroom. It’s hard to get back to sleep when your heart’s beating 140 beats-per-minute.

The early summer Scottish weather was lovely, although Gene and I may hold differing opinions of that term.

We spent four days socializing and relaxing on the property, then Rachel’s parents flew back to South Carolina and we drove west to an AirBnb on the shoreline of one of Scotland’s innumerable peninsulas.

Highland cows (“HEE-land coos” in Scottish pronunciation) are long-horned, shaggy-haired beef cattle that look like they were designed as the comedic relief side character in a Pixar movie.

Rachel was delighted at the opportunity to get up close and personal.

After being married to me for almost 10 years, she understands innately that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

Glen Coe is a gorgeous valley that you’ve probably seen in um every Scottish movie ever made.

I walked a tightrope over a raging roaring river that was at least 15 inches deep, moving at deadly speeds of multiple miles-per-hour.

We took a whole day to explore the gorgeous Isle of Skye, stopping on the way at the picturesque Eilean Donan Castle, built in the 13th century on a small tidal island at the confluence of three sea lochs.

The Isle of Skye itself is a stunning island of expansive mountain ranges, fractured coastlines, and magical glens.

Walking through Fairy Glen, I could almost imagine enchanted fairies hiding nearby, baking cookies in the trees. Oh wait that’s the Keebler Elves.

This is me at the top, regally surveying my kingdom’s boundaryless lands like Mufasa in The Lion King. I then moved aside to let the 6-year-old British kids behind me do the same thing.

Our next AirBnb stay was near Loch Ness, which we immediately realized was a mistake when we drove through the nearby town of Fort Augustus. Plush dinosaur toys hung from every store window, and “See The Monster” boat tours continuously buzzed around the narrow lake. The lake and surrounding area are absolutely gorgeous, but their peaceful atmosphere was demolished by these floods of single-minded tourists angling to catch a glimpse of an imaginary leviathan. (I’m failing to come up with a reason as to why our own non-monster-based visit to this overcrowded region shouldn’t be chided as well, so let’s move on.)

The Urquhart Castle, one of the region’s vaunted attractions, was a somewhat disappointing collection of ruins on the shores of Loch Ness. Beautiful scenery, though.

And now for some personal news. Rachel and I have been frolicking – yes I said frolicking – throughout Europe for over a year now, both of us working remotely with highly flexible schedules. At times we would look at each other and think, “This too easy, isn’t it?”

Yes, it turns out, yes it was. Rachel finally got the directive that she had been dreading: her university would, without exception, require all professors to be in-person during the upcoming fall semester. She wrote a passionate appeal, as her classes are online anyway, but was denied: faculty meetings must be attended in person.

Rachel and I agreed that we weren’t ready to cut short our travels, and our discussions regarding her possible resignation became more serious.

Immediately after receiving her news, I was informed that, due to the global stock market and commodities crash, I was being let go from my position as an equities/options trader. My company needed my trading funds to shore up their battered accounts elsewhere, never mind that I beat the market in both 2021 and 2022…with less downside risk and volatility…which was originally explained to me as the predominant goal of my position…not that I’m bitter.

Ignoring my rant (I’ve never been fired before; this is all new to me) we now had some decisions to make.

Dare we go from two incomes down to zero?

Tune in next time, when I will definitely not have an answer.